Two tendencies with sustainably similar negative effects: One is the narrowness of the nuclear family and the lack of libidinal fulfillment between the “life partners” within these. This circumstance leads to shifts of desire within the family on … children! The other is the long duration of childhood and adolescence, well beyond sexual maturity. This also leads to shifts in desire on … children. A similar situation can also be faced by a therapist* who sees himself confronted with a client* who would in principle be sexually attractive to him. The resulting situation is similar to that in the family and presents significant challenges for the therapist. Such situations – in the family, in a therapy – are on the one hand quite rightly viewed and evaluated from a moral point of view, but on the other hand it is the case that these situations are constructed conditions of existence, which are so common that their consequences, latent and manifest child abuse, are very common. Seen in this light, the sole consideration under the aspect of personal guilt can not be enough. The conditions of construction have to be questioned and the conditions of coexistence between partners and with children have to be completely redefined. The existing design conditions are unusable.